Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Failure Pile in a Sadness Bowl...




Unemployed.

Single.

Lives at home.

Asian.


All these facts should unequivocally mean that I must play video games. But I don't. Which concerns me. Should I be worried about being a stereotypically sad sack of post-grad shit, or more importantly, that I'm doing a shitty job being a stereotype?

Last night was a good test of my Asian mettle (or Pacific Islander mettle, like anyone gives a fuck about the difference) as I was in New York City late at night, merely blocks away from what one media-savvy insider referred to as "the biggest fucking thing since Star Wars."

I'm as big asucker for gluttonous, overblown media events as much as the next guy (I actually spent a Saturday night with a friend at not ONE, but TWO Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows book release parties in NYC; I have no coy hipster friendly defense for such a seemingly sad admission. Shit, I didn't even have a reservation for a book.) But instead of taking in the breaktaking view of Fifth Avenue completely shutdown and overtaken by a horde of military mongooses and a 34 year-old gentleman dressed up as the "Master Chief" I was twenty blocks away watching my pretentiously alternative free comedy show at the UCB punctuated by this gentleman :


Instead of taking part in the gleeful adventure of these young men :





Eitherway I begin the morning sort of bummed out...as if my inability to connect with a billion-dollar technological industry not involving sex creates a void within me I can not really explain... Eh, fuck it.
.................................................................................................
This past weekend, your intrepid blogger decided to take part in a long awaited "night out with the boys" : a raucously routine event of rambunctiousness revelry.
And what did my childhood homies from the county of Queens want to do? Why none other than watch the hilarious genius of the one and only Dane-ish Cook!




I think the backlash against Mr. Cook has been overkill at best, ( I have to admit that I was one of the many who did initially find his stand up rather charming and endearing before it gradually degenerated into obnoxious dumbfuckery) and the premise seems almost interesting; a man is cursed with the ability to help win find the man of their dreams after being with him. Almost sort of interesting, in a kinda smarter-than-Wedding-Crashers-sort of way.
Shit, it's got tons of gratuitous nudity as well as Jessica Alba, purveyor of all things good and the reason why watching an entire film with the mute button pressed can still make for an entertaining evening...alone.
And yet, Dane Cook + Jessica Alba + tons of inexplicable nudity/sex + that Jimmy Fallon lookalike from 30 Rock = my ears and eyes competing to see which orifice could bleed more.

0 painful displays of affection:

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