Thursday, January 17, 2008

Random Thoughts From a Random Guy #5: Sympathetic Swingers

If there’s one group that I hate more than underage girls who claim to be legal, it’s sympathetic voters. No other group has contributed more to the economic woes, deterioration of the public school system and power of special interest groups more than the sympathetic voter.

With this said, I have a shocking confession to make: I am a sympathetic voter.

Of course, I am in the closet where I belong.

The major buzzword of the campaign this year has been (altogether now) change. Every candidate gets approximately $2,000 dollars donated to his or her campaign fund every time he or she utters the word. Every one has been so disillusioned by the past eight years that we are now at the point where any change is good change.

But what exactly are we trying to change? This is the one thing that never gets answered by the candidates.


If you look to Facebook for the answer- and why wouldn’t you?- the answer is the economy. If we are to approach this logically, that means the antithesis of the Bush administration would be an economically sound regime. The greatest chance for this type of change would have to come from someone who has a history of spurring growth in the private sector, balancing budgets and keeping unemployment in check.

We don’t have a candidate like that- do we? Of course we do. So, if he’s everything we ever wanted, why aren’t we voting for him? The answer is as simple as it is stupid: we are all sympathetic voters at heart.

Although Mitt Romney has all of these qualities and has been in Washington long enough to understand the inner workings, yet not long enough to be considered an insider, the nicest word I could come up with for his immigration policy is cold. He is truly an illegal immigrant’s worst nightmare. In addition to this, when caught in an act of deception, he tries to slip away by using more lies.

In comparison, Huckabee, Obama, even Clinton would have a difficult time delivering us from our economic woes, but at least one is sincere, one is exciting, and one is emotionally complex.

Despite his win in Michigan, Romney is still a long shot.

If he loses, it won’t be because he can’t fix the economy or he can’t deliver change. It will be because he isn’t the type of guy we would want representing our country. We’ll take four more years of economic problems before we part with our Aaron Sorkin vision of the White House because after all, what could be more American than that?

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