Wednesday, February 27, 2008

ProRun Finale Episode Part A

Oh my, it's that time. Finale episodes are so epic that it takes two weeks to get it all done. It's so epic that in my mind it transcends numbers and will now be listed with letters. It's that HUGE.

This week starts with the remaining designers drinking it up on the roof of their hotel. Afterwards they all leave voicing concerns about what lies ahead.

Then we get to see Saint Tim visiting all the designers in their respective homes to see their collections. It's like returning home without ever leaving your house.

He starts out in New York City with Christian. He has a studio where he lives and works in his own apartment. He sleeps on a pull out bed in a hallway. He is living in modern New York. What we were shown is how most kids living in New York without mommy and daddy footing the bill actually live. Christian first worked in hair and then went into fashion going overseas to study for a year. I'm in love with this 21 year-old kid that creates a whole lot of look. All he needs to do is make the judges love him as much as Nina loves Rami.

He moves on to boring Jillian in her New York pad. She shows him more jackets and I sit back yawning. She apparently decided that she had no time to think up a new concept for her designs and continued the last challenge's art inspiration. Her entire design is based upon Spanish military art. Way to be boring and repetitive, Jillian. The only thing exciting is the trip to Long Island to visit her rather human family. They look like any other typical New York family that it's bringing Jillian into an entirely new light for me. Her mother seems like something I could find near my old high school in Brooklyn.

Rami lives in Los Angeles in a typical Roman inspired house. We meet his two best friends. In your face Jillian, Rami has a female best friend and she isn't you! The picture they showed of Rami's mother looks just like Rami in drag. How hilarious.... oh shit she's dead. Let's, uh, scratch that hilarious part. Rami doesn't design in his home. Fuck that, He has a phenomenal studio. His collection was inspired by Joan of Arc. Tim says one of his designs was a heavy effin' coat. I love Tim Gunn.

Back to New York to reconnect with Chris March. Overall the designers living in New York have gorgeous apartments and that makes me gag.Chris says something about having 95% fashion and 5% costume. I have a feeling that his designs would've been better if it were 100% fashion and 0% costume. He's using human hair in his designs and it makes Tim and myself gag. Tim makes one of the ODDEST Tim Gunn remarks in the history of ProRun. Something about living in the monkey house and not recognizing the smell. Oh my Tim's gone crazy!

Both Rami and Chris aren't too keen on the idea of competing against each other to be in the finale but I could care less. I mean we all know Rami is going to win it, because Chris' ideas aren't your regular ideas. Rami is more of a traditional designer and who are we kidding, Nina is not going to be happy if Rami isn't in the final three.

All four designers begin their trek to Fashion Week and their finale hotel. Instead of lumping all four designers into one room, they've split it up. The competing two in one room, and the actual two in the other. Rami and Jillian continue their love affair. I'm sure once Rami gets in he'll get put in the two bedroom with Jillian so they can braid her hair and talk gossip.
So Tim shows up and ruins the happy-fest the designers were having in their new work rooms and tells them that the Chris and Rami show off would be happening today. They got to choose a fellow designer as a helper. Of course Rami chose Jillian and Chris and Christian fell once again into each other's arms.

Rami chose three different styles to show off how diverse his collection was. Chris chose three outfits that included the aforementioned human hair. Yes, the human hair that Tim told Chris made him gag. Chris obviously didn't get that the only way he was going to get into Fashion Week was if he tricked the judges. For fuck's sake Chris, you couldn't throw together three pieces that were in the least bit streamlined and tailored to the judges likes.

They showed their pieces and the judges oohed and ahhed over everything. In the end Rami, of course, made it to fashion week. Chris started to make the tears and thanked everyone. In the back room everyone hugged Chris while Rami stood there smiling like an insensitive jackass.

Chris makes a joke about how all of this happened before and we all laughed with our hearts on our sleeves.

Things We Learned About The Designers And Ourselves This Week: All Nina Edition:

Rami said that he was experimenting with different styles to show them that he could do more than draping yet all of his pieces featured draping in some sort. Nina didn't care she just wanted Rami-poo to do so well. She fucking loves all the shit that man creates. You can just tell that if Rami were to create a statue out of his own feces Nina wouldn't be able to bluntly tell him it sucks. She would gracefully meander outside the insult working to a peacefully love-induced ending.

Chris' designs were goth-tastic. Nina fucking loved that shit. Haha, oh Nina. Who knew she was such a freak in the head?

Heidi with bangs = eh?
Nina with bangs = Hot DDDDDamn, Nina.

You can tell that Nina is in love with Rami Kashou. She tried to give him insults but it just came off like a mommy lovingly telling her child to stop.

Nina's eyes lit up with hatred tinged glee when Chris told the judges that he used human hair.

Kors tried to steal Nina's thunder by saying that Chris' model looked as though she was in a velvet condom. Nina stole it back with her love of Chris' designs. Took that shit RIGHT BACK!

So in the end the designer everyone knew was going to win won and poor Chris was left out in the cold. Needless to say this episode was completely pointless.

Dear Bravo TV and ProRun Executives,

Stop making us watch useless television and show us the finale in one night like you did in previous seasons. There is no need to stretch something out making your viewers upset by the lack of an underdog win in this "final" Auf-ing.

Thanks for listening,
La Dame

That being said, here's a final goodbye to our lovable Chris March. May he continue to amuse those surrounding him and make money doing the thing he loves to do. Adieu!

0 painful displays of affection:

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