Monday, March 3, 2008

Random Thoughts From a Random Guy #8: Class President For President

Now that we’re down to the final three candidates, and not one of them has executive experience, we should just treat this Presidential campaign like a high-school election and pick the candidate that the cool kids are backing.

Here’s the rundown:

Jack Nicholson: If you haven’t seen his YouTube video by now, you might be living under a rock. Consider yourself lucky. I haven’t seen an attempt to lend someone star power this misguided since Bill Clinton’s South Carolina debacle.

I know you mean well Jack, but Hillary is trying to be an agent of change and you’re the past.

Sorry buddy.


Tina Fey: If ever there was a political Hail Mary for a touchdown this was it. Fey got in digs at the media, Oprah and Obama, while still remaining graceful.

She got the viewers to admit that they would like a glamorous president, but that, as Fey put it, “Bitches get the job done.”

Some people have a way of implying that they have superior intellect without coming off as snobby. Hillary Clinton is not one of those people, but luckily Tina Fey is.


Katherine McPhee: Normally I would say stay clear of the bimbo vote, but let’s face it; Clinton needs it. On Super Tuesday, Obama won amongst young women 53 percent to 45 percent. Hillary can’t afford to have that happen in Texas and Ohio.

The only problem is, I don’t know if young women respect McPhee as much as they do say…Paris Hilton.


Ted Kennedy: I thought this was the gamebreaker. I predicted a twenty point win in Massachusetts after Kennedy endorsed Obama. I was wrong.

Apparently the Kennedy endorsement isn’t as big as I thought it was.

Don’t despair Barack, I’m pretty sure Ted is a super-delegate.


Willie Brown: Okay, he hasn’t endorsed anybody as yet, and I know people claim to be too independent minded to be influenced by other people, but it’s Willie friggin' Brown! If he does decide to endorse someone, the other candidate better just concede defeat.

I know we say that endorsements don’t matter anymore, but his just might. He has friends on both the Democrat and Republican sides, and he’s from Texas. All I know is that his endorsement should carry more weight than McPhee’s.

After all, if politics is high-school all over again, I do believe that the starting quarterback outranks the head cheerleader.

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