Monday, May 5, 2008

Random Notes From a Random Guy: Deal Breakers


While Mr. Editor-in-Chief rambles on above, about his wussy idiosyncrasies, you can always rely on yours truly, the Brown Cary Grant, to impart my own brand of old-fashioned manly wisdom.

Everyone has his own "deal breakers"; things so detestable that even if the woman were perfect in every other way you still wouldn’t touch her with a ten foot pole.

Here are some of mine (in no particular order, though numbered cause I'm nice like that) :


1. A propensity for dying her hair purple or orange: You are not a Smurf or a character on Sesame Street.


2. Fanatical devotion to magazine tips: Just because Cosmo Girl told you it was okay to shave that off doesn’t mean it actually was.


3. A big forehead: I guess I’m just as superficial as the next guy.


4. A passionate hatred for soccer: I just won’t tolerate that type of prejudice; I just won’t.


5. A belief that that all Democrats are crazy Liberals sissies: We’ll see who’s a crazy Liberal sissy when Hill-Rod lays the smackdown on all those McCainiacs.


6. A woman who doesn’t love world music: Would you really be with a girl like that?


7. A woman who's...well, she's a midget: No offense to short women, I just don’t want to look like a pedophile, that’s all.

0 painful displays of affection:

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