Wednesday, July 23, 2008

ProRun Season 5 Episode 2

Grass Is Always Greener
The designers are forced to think green in the second episode of Project Runway -- with the help of their trusted model. Guest Judge: Natalie Portman.

This new 9pm time is completely messing with my flow. Anyway, amid-ProRun episodes I was sent an email from Mr. SilentButDeadly regarding a ProRun information leak with the next four auf'd designers fully on display. I didn't want to look at it but my curiosity got the better of me and I went to the website. I guess all I can do is hope for the best and see if the leak is real.

The episodes starts with Suede once again talking in third person. Mr. Tan monster wrote something on the blackboard with the suffix of "-licious" and succeeds in making me want to kill him in two separate episodes.

Designers get to pick their models this time around and a few switch while most stick with the one assigned to them last episode. Jerell attempts to make a model switch into Zulema-gate 2.0 but fails when he doesn't keep on about it and/or didn't begin to cry like Nick.

Heidi announces that the models will be their clients. "Another season one rehash," I begin to think just as soon as Heidi also tells the designers that they'll be using green, natural fabrics instead of whatever they wanted. Man, it's nothing like the wedding challenge at all! They need to make a cocktail dress, not a wedding dress AND... they have to use environmentally conscious fabrics. Well, that's just completely different. I don't know why I doubted these guys in the first place.

Anyway, Tim talks to the models and the designers, and throws another ProRun first at these bitches. The models have to go out and get the fabric instead of the designers. Well that's just insane, Mr. Gunn. How on earth will these walking twigs choose something wonderful to make a dress out of? The designers are aware of this question and rightfully freaking out over it.
I'm guessing this is an attempt to make the models more of part of the show just like on the first season. I'm sensing a nostalgia trend here.

The models are like kids in a glass shop, confused and wanting to touch EVERYTHING. They all manage to be lemmings and pick up the same fabric. One of the models makes a comment about how they are all picking the same stuff but that it's the designers' job to make it look different. This is true but relatively dicky since the models actually want their respective designers to win. They should know they are in a competition too.

The designers try to make something out of the teeny tiny amount of disgusting fabric that the models brought back. Most of the designers are worried and are putting together some really ugly outfits. This year's crop of designers aren't exactly up to par with any of the previous seasons. I mean... even the wedding dress one had better designs than this bunch of crap and they had to make a fucking wedding dress. These losers suck... next!

The runway show is something gag worthy. Only a select few dresses end up being relatively pretty while most of the others are overall hideous. I'm not sure how the judges are going to react to this crop of crap but the bitchiness will hopefully reign supreme.

Heidi once again brings out the bitch while Nina and Kors sit back and try to match her sass. Did someone put something in Heidi's drink this season or is something up? Maybe this is the start of a new, more aggressive Mrs. Seal. I don't care what's happening as long as she continues to bring the bitch. I like a spicy Heidi.

Natalie Portman is completely useless as a judge and should probably have been replaced with someone who can actually give educated constructive criticism. I know she's known for being a smart actress but that girl needs to brush up on her fashion vocab before she enters the ProRun world.

Things We Learned About Our Designers And Ourselves This Week:

Leann is the first to comment on Suede and his third person obsession.

Korto brings the paranoia and sass early on in the game.

Tan Girlicious calls Heidi 'Darth Vader' and immediately swims to the top of my hatred meter once more.

Apparently Katerina is Puerto Rican and Korto is African. Thanks Korto, for letting me in on the ethnicity of some of our designers.

Stella loves leather and Blayne makes fun of her leather and accent. Don't mess with Stella, Girlicious. You have no idea what you're up against.

Blayne knows Spanish and calls his model "Licious"... ugh.

Natalie Portman has a vegan shoe collection? Who knew?!

Natalie decided to say something wonderful and nice about each and every designer despite the fact that she probably wouldn't have worn a damn one. So, she's also a liar. Damn Natalie Portman with the surprises left and right...

Suede winning makes me think that this shit really is a last ditch effort to kill the brand before it moves to Lifetime.

Last Thoughts:

So I guess that leak was a sham! Suede took the cake and shattered my dreams of a shy boy designer making it to the top.

Let's take a look back at better seasons and memorable characters.

Until next time:

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