Tuesday, August 26, 2008

I F*cked That Guy: Daddy Yankee

Mr. Editor-in-Chief SilentButDeadly has come up with a game to amuse ourselves that'll be a new feature of SMFIH, I Fucked That Guy/Girl/Thing will be occasional moments of rhapsodizing about a specific archetype, stereotype, personality, or maybe even actual person or thing we've at one point or another been drunkenly (or soberly) intimate with.

So, yeah, we're really, really slutty whores (mostly him (Editor's Note: mostly her)), so enjoy:

Yes...I fucked Daddy Yankee.

No, not the actual Daddy Yankee, but that ghetto-cute Spanish guy at the club who was such a fucking asshole and treated you like shit but you couldn't help but like him.

Yep, I fucked that guy. The one with the meticulous fade, the tight shirt that showed off his shitty tats and biceps he spent all his time on in the gym, instead of being able to hold a conversation about anything more interesting than how he likes "that song" and how he "really really wants to hit that shit."

The guy who tried impressing you in the club by trying to freestyle a rhyme about "yo asses tasting sweet like molasses."


The one who kept calling you mami, and you actually thought it was endearing.

The guy whose idea of enjoying an art gallery was trying to steal bottles of champagne from your friend's installation opening and then blame the Spanish security for being "fucking racist."

The one who tried talking politics with you while you were trying to quietly enjoy the morning paper with your coffee by saying "yeah, that fucking economy shit, right? No seriously, that economy shit, right?" I fucked that guy.

God...I am a whore.

Scoreboard So Far:
  • SilentButDeadly: 0
  • all your pink are belong to us: super mega-whorish 1

0 painful displays of affection:

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