Friday, September 5, 2008

Lady Livin': First Football Weekend Edition


While the rest of the testicled world lock themselves away into their first weekend of fantasy football giving way to actual football, ladies please join me in some penis-less goodness:

  • Mamma Mia! Sing-Along Edition: Yes, this movie is pretty fucking awful. And yes, my beloved Pierce Brosnan's singing is as enjoyable as a gynecology exam performed by Edward Scissorhands, but it's a SING-ALONG! Who doesn't love a good campy hootenanny of an ABBA-licious good time? (I promise to never use the word 'hootenanny' or end any word with 'licious' ever again)

  • Equus in previews on Broadway: Harry Potter banging and killing horses? Um, sexy? Maybe not. But don't act like you aren't even a little curious about the size of his Quidditch stick.
  • Broadway Loves the 80's at Joe's Pub: Broadway stars sing hits from the greatest decade of so bad it's goodness and it's hosted by the lovely lovely Mo Rocca? Can you say double yay?!
  • Have a night out with the girls: Drink, be merry, eat strange things that cost more or less than those stupid football tickets your boyfriend bought, or just stand outside of Momofuku and comment loudly about how surprisingly "shitty, underwhelming, and anti-Semitic" the dining experience was...then rush to try to scoop up the reservations ditched by people stupid enough to believe you. Or just get drunk and mock them anyway. Same difference.

  • Cheat on your boyfriend: No, I'm just kidding. (Sorta) But seriously guys, is watching a bunch of muscle bound men in tight outfits and helmets wrestling each other into the ground over and over really better than sex?

Maybe I'm not doing it right...

0 painful displays of affection:

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