For those of you bitter, lonely, or emotionally scarred haters of Halloween, something to make you smile:
Remember Halloween dances...costume competitions...kissing the boy that looked really cute in the Ghostbusters jumpsuit...
What's the point of having nieces if you can't relive memories through them:
I'm taking you down Mr. Winner of the best Jem and the Holograms costume 2005-2007 (one of these years, I'm taking you drag queen bitches down).
And no, I'm not being slutty. I'm just making sure my niece doesn't feel left out.
I guess this is what they mean by "gotcha journalism":
WTF. No, seriously. WTF.
I know I'm late to the game in extrapolating the little joy that is Lily Allen and Friends, but I stumbled upon this and couldn't help but smile a bit:
(Editor's Note: The following thoughts, ideas, expressions, ramblings and jarringly outdated cultural references are those of our own rogue maverick, the Brown Cary Grant, and do not necessarily reflect those of SMFIH or its editorial staff. Just making sure.)
Simplification is in! Don’t understand the financial crisis? Ask Suze Orman. The NFL got you all confused? Well worry no longer my pretty little darling, John Madden will come to the rescue.
Simplification of complex topics is not just for salesmen and Dr. Phil anymore. Everyone does it. The reason everyone does is a little elusive. My best guess is that simplifying a topic allows the topic to be more accessible therefore more people can chime in, allowing for a more lively debate. That is the point right?
My cousin recently introduced me to a most fascinating television program: Entourage. The show follows a promising young actor named Vincent Chase and his three friends as they swim with the sharks so to speak in Hollywood. Vincent asks “E” his friend and former pizzeria manager to be his new manager. Not one avidly opposed to redundancy, he also gets a high powered Hollywood agent named Ari Gold to be his agent (It’s redundant because an agent is sort of like a manager; Yes, I’m simplifying again).
Anyway, where was I? The Presidential and Vice Presidential candidates have seemed to simplify the essence of their respective ideologies to the point where they sort of remind one of characters from Entourage. Here’s what I mean:
Sarah Palin: Sarah, like Vinny Chase as they call him, wears naiveté like it’s a badge of honor. The thing that makes them both dangerous is that they are both smarter than they appear. Mr. Chase pretends to not know how to navigate the waters of Hollywood because he doesn’t have the stomach for Tinseltown politics. Sarah pretends to be naïve because the good ole' boys that she was brought in to court would never vote for a woman who truly understood the intricacies of NAFTA. They both know how to get exactly what it is that they want without having to come off as crass or ruthless. I know you might say Palin does have a tendency to come off as less than congenial, but you are probably a bleeding heart liberal. Most of America just thinks she needs to stop winking at them.
Barack Obama: Mr. Obama reminds me of “E.” They both owe a lot to circumstance. Obama took advantage of Mark Penn’s less than stellar campaign strategy to full effect. “E” took advantage of Mr. Chase’s generosity and feelings of loyalty to full effect. However, in terms of talent and creativity, it can hardly be argued that “E” is not ready to become a major Hollywood player and that Senator Obama is not ready to become President Obama. Sure “E” will make some mistakes along the way. I’m also fairly certain that Obama’s health care plan may actually cause small business owners to think twice about hiring extra staff, depending on exactly how much they have to pay into that pool if they choose to not provide health insurance. However, this does very little to overshadow the egalitarian principles and old school work ethic that lie at the core of who these men truly are.
Joe Biden: If you are a fan of Entourage, this comparison shouldn’t be hard to grasp. If you occasionally watch Entourage, this shouldn’t be hard to grasp. If you’ve ever said “let’s hug it out bitch” to someone, this shouldn’t be too hard to grasp. Ari Gold says exactly what he wants, whenever he wants to say it. Mr. Biden does pretty much the same. Sure, he is responsible for the worst Obama-Kennedy comparison ever, but the Democrats knew what they were getting when they hired him. He’s a pit-bull. This is what makes him absolutely necessary. Someone has to deflect the attacks that come in from the Republican side, and a man who has based his entire candidacy on being the anti-politician isn’t allowed to do such things. (Of course the analogy has seemed to lose some of it’s accuracy because Ari plays pitbull for Mr. Chase, who in this analogy is Sarah Palin. The reason for the metaphorical mix up is because Obama has elements of Vincent Chase in his personality, but he is still primarily like “E”. Also, if “E” were an actor, he would need a pitbull of his own due to his non-confrontational nature, which we saw on full display during the filming of Medellin. So, the analogy is back on track, but you are welcome to debate me if you would like to do so [Editor's Note: No, no you don't have to].)
John McCain: McCain is like Drama because Drama shows glimmers of hope but still cannot hold a candle to Mr. Chase. That is all I have to say on that.
Now that is why Entourage is exactly like America. Now excuse me while I live vicariously through the idiotic manifestations of celebutante man-boy-children. And hug it out bitch.
I liked the Dark Knight, but didn't looove it as much as most people did. It's probably why I enjoyed this so much:
I was slow to warm to the show, but our editor-in-chief swears by it (I'm pretty sure he would give up his right arm or some other important appendage just to write for the show or do some improv thing with Tina Fey) and I gotta say, it is pretty damn sweet (Not sure about that borderline angry misogynist Baldwin though).
The Season Three premiere of 30 Rock:
The cover of the new Animal Collective album, Merriweather Post Pavilion:
It looks like it's moving, but it's not actually moving. And I'm not stoned. Unless you are.
Oh look- there's fifteen minutes of work time down. Just a few more hours to go (Sigh).
It begins with a look. It always begins with a look.
Boy meets at girl in video store. Boy attempts awkward conversation with reclusive girl about '70s erotica. Reclusive girl turns out to be sociopath. Boy stalks and forces himself into reclusive sociopath's life. Love ensues?
Love is blind, love is a cruel mistress, and in Good Dick, love is a callow exercise in emotional futility. Written, directed and starring Marianna Palka and longtime boyfriend Jason Ritter, Good Dick delves into indie film's favorite subject: the quirky, awkward, borderline perverse things we do to find love.
First time director Palka has a flair for showing the lonely emptiness of Los Angeles, and shows a genuine sense of chemistry with onscreen love Ritter. Yet despite somber moments of intimacy and the customary indie foray into kitsch involving romantic signage attached to appendages, Good Dick feels flat and underdeveloped, forgoing fully fleshed out characters in favor of long stares and moments of isolation.
Ritter is a charming onscreen presence that makes his character's boundless optimism endearing, but also makes it difficult to comprehend the punishment he continues to endure pursuing Palka's damaged recluse. Palka to her credit, writes scenes of beautiful intimacy, but undermines attempts at subtlety with an uneven performance. We understand that her recluse has an emotionally damaged past; we don't understand why she's so maddeningly inconsistent with Ritter's nameless optimist.
At the core of Good Dick's shortcomings is it's over-reliance on emotional conjecture. Ritter's cloudy past is alluded to with an after school special formality, while Palka's emotional damage appears to be derived from a caricature of a rich, creepy, abusive daddy (flatly played by Tom Arnold) that is forced, and not genuinely earned.
For a first feature, Palka does a more than adequate job establishing a nice tone and feel for Good Dick. As a performer, her lapses into melodrama outweigh the emotional veracity of her eyes, and the natural beauty she belies. Ritter is a stabilizing center for the film, and a welcome film presence that can only get better with age.
It always begins with a look. But sometimes, we need more than that.
When I grow up, I wanna be an 89 year-old nana arrested for not returning a ball to some kid who keeps throwing his shit into my yard:
An old friend of mine randomly mailed me a package of these:
I, like many of you, may be sick of the Sarah Palin coverage we've been inundated by and would like nothing better than to never have to talk about her again. And yes, I know we here at SMFIH are just as guilty as most for exploiting and parodying this "Sexy Sarah" ad nauseam for entertainment value, but underscoring the frightening reality her political prominence holds for all people, especially women in this country.
So for a break in the absurdity of this anti-feminist female, here's a serious, heartfelt message:
Finally, a product for the man in your life who just can't seem to keep his ahem, junk clean...
In a world full of generic body washes, Man Junk Intimate Wash stands out. Made by men for men, our unique formula addresses the specific needs of the male anatomy. Cleansing, refreshing, and one hell of a confidence booster - what are you waiting for? (Via)
A special soap for that area is kinda ridiculous, but in my experience, for some men it couldn't hurt to be be extra cautious about maintenance down there- am I right my ladies? (crickets on stage) We don't want no funky junk, am I right? (awkward high five left hanging in the air) Hello? Is this on? (flashing red stage light)