Friday, November 21, 2008

Partini: the board game that's tons of Fun-tini as you commit Suicide-tini

I kickass at board games. I'm quick witted, don't mind embarrassing pubic performance and have an above average aptitude for useless trivia. Which is why I hate board games.

Not because I'm too cool for school, or think I'm above mastering the fine art of deconstructing a puzzle through some third world country packaged clay while a plastic hourglass drops sand and reminds me of how preciously meaningless my time on earth has really been. No, I hate board games because it reminds me of the possibility that the greatest talent I may have in this lifetime is in an area that provides no semblance of a contribution to society (unless of course being able to hum Cole Porter's "Night and Day" while blindfolded and mimicking the poster of In & Out to convey the clue of Kevin Kline could somehow stop poverty).

Which is why I just can't wait to play this:

Oh,'ve I've wasted you so. Then again, what would I possibly do during the holidays were it not for board games?

Drink myself into alcohol poisoned stupor while ravishing distant relatives with untold tales of my professional ineptitude as I meander towards the dining room and use the table's centerpiece to gouge my eyes out and forcefully sodomize myself until every orifice is convulsively sputtering blood in a Jackson Pollack-y dénouement?

Yes, Partini it shall be.

0 painful displays of affection:

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