Thursday, January 29, 2009

Jim Beam's Super Bowl Ads cut right to the heart of our existential existence

"The Girlfriend"

Super Bowl Sunday is fast approaching, and as many of my family and friends are of the only-care-about-the-commercials demographic it's hard not to hope for something more than the pretty mediocre ads of the past few years.

Not including babies. Cute talking babies are always hilarious!

Enter Jim Beam's "The Remake" Video Contest, where bourbon aficionados may partake in the fine art of crafting fun, blatantly stupid ads built upon the ideal male fantasy of female subservience. Boobs are awesome, especially when paired with other boobs, or boobs that can't really speak English but really prefer using their vocal chords for anything other than actual conversation.

"The Tragedy"

Yet seeing this lamebrain Jim Beam contest and hearing about amazing "one second" commercials or ads intentionally made for the sole purpose of being banned as a means of creating faux-controversy/curiosity, it's hard to not wonder about the equivalent of advertising's Christmas Day.

Super Bowl ads have been a time honored tradition of completely and totally devaluing our entertainment sensibilities for the lowest common denominator for the sole pursuit of empty materialistic happiness. And that's the way we've always liked it.

"The Party"

But in an age where everything goes viral almost instantaneously, can ridiculously expensive commercials premiering at a specific time and date really compete with the immediacy of the Internet? Does the bottom line of companies really increase with millions of eyes watching ads on one night as opposed to the cheaper and longer lasting viral existence that lays before it?

"One Second High Life"

Am I just making way too big a deal out of something instead of enjoying mindless sexy hot boob action because I have yet to fully wake up and have my morning coffee? Is it possible to ponder too many incoherent thoughts at once at such an early hour? Can a person really end every statement with a question mark? Probably?

0 painful displays of affection:

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