Sunday, May 31, 2009

Kate Plus Eight Hate + Rihanna = Sadness

(Via Us Weekly)

Kate Gosselin's hair + anyone (especially Rihanna)= Sadness personified

"See What Stars Look Like With Kate Gosselin's Hair! Check out funny photos of the iconic hairstyle"

"Iconic hairstyle" really Us Weekly? Also, thank you.


I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! makes us regret missed opportunities

"Every life is precious."

No. No, they are not.

If there is a higher power or being, he or she must be looking at this picture the same way a parent looks wistfully at a child, while lamenting the abortion that could have easily made way for the vacation to Antigua that you never got a chance to realize. Ever. Again. Erg.


Saturday, May 30, 2009

ABC's World News Tonight discovers Tommy Wiseau's The Room


After taking a small break from covering the everlasting goodness that is The Room, leave it up to ABC's World News Tonight with Charlie Gibson to finally clue the geriatric early bird dinner news watching set into the inexplicable majesty of Tommy Wiseau. (Is it sad that the sound of hearing Charlie Gibson say "steamy love triangle" makes me giggle? Or maybe I'm just five years old.)

The mere visage of Alec Baldwin commenting on his own personal Room discovery is enough to make us excited all over again for next month's screening. And, yum.


Thursday, May 28, 2009

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans trailer

Abel Ferrara's Bad Lieutenant was a disturbing downward spiral of addiction, corruption and a cop's attempts to find some semblance of redemption. And way more Harvey Keitel penis than one could fathom.

Werner Herzog's Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans sequel, no, an unintentional sequel to Neil LaBute's unintentional remake of The Wicker Man meets Ghost Rider meets your brain exploding at the reality that someone in today's economy thought the idea of spending money on making this would be a good one.

Also, wow.


Tiny Toons banned "One Beer" episode


Nothing like a Tiny Toons episode educating us on the evils of drinking to start a rainy morning off.


Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Hump days are Mondays trying to borrow a dollar, getting turned down, and asking for 50 grand instead

Trying to get a 26 year-old woman (with actual self respect) to put her hand on 'it' on your first date with her at a movie theater, seriously Mr. Hedge Fund Manager Guy? Really? Has the maturity of the dating process really regressed that badly since I've last been single? Did you really expect to get some action while watching the Brothers Bloom? Ack.


Friday, May 22, 2009

Tim Gunn meets Iron Man


Spider-Man meeting Stephen Colbert? After Colbert's Tek Jansen schtick, I get it.

Obama meets Spidey? In an economy where Montel Williams is hocking horrible collectible presidential coins, I can see it.

But a beloved fashion mentor of a reality show competition where suddenly:

"Mr. Gunn becomes an action figure — jumping into Iron Man’s suit of armor to save a fashion exhibition from evildoers."

Of course, a famous fashion figure of a popular show with a predominantly female audience transforming into iron clad alpha male fantasy would appeal to the widest female audience imaginable and possibly bridge the precarious gap between Fashion Week devotees and Comic Con. Because that makes total sense.


Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Tom Brokaw keeps cool with Colbert


My alma mater gets Tom Brokaw as their commencement speaker, and he naturally drops in a special note from Stephen Colbert to keep it gully and keep it fresh with the kids.

The last few years the kids get Charlie Rose, Tom Brokaw, and a free performance from U2. Four years of expensive ass education and all I got was a speech from a then-soon-to-be-fired Mets manager Willie Randolph (over a customary chorus of boos cause um, we were in the Bronx, which is uh, Yankee country), just because his daughter happened to be graduating with us. And I'm actually a Met fan. Ugh.

College. It's what's setting the table for a lifetime of disappointment that's what's for dinner.


Sunday, May 17, 2009

Patrick Ewing prediction comes true...finally

Patrick Ewing kills it with Snickers "Patrick Chewing" and actually gets one right. Totally makes up for that whole guaranteeing a Knicks championship every year, finally getting close and providing soul crushingly endless nightmares of clang after clang of missed shots.



Friday, May 15, 2009

Nine trailer

Anything Daniel Day-Lewis can do, we can't do better.

I'm pretty sure this might be the only musical I won't have to be forced by a woman to actually see. (Wait, is that Fergie? Might...)


Thursday, May 14, 2009

Marion Cotillard classes this joint up


Oui. Et oui.


Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Every little girl dreams of being a freedom of speecher

I'm sick of this story as much as everyone else should be, but a good rant is a good rant. California we go hard.


In the Aeroplane Over the Sea the High School Musical


Amanda Palmer of the Dresden Dolls goes back to her old high school and helped create With the Needle That Sings in Her Heart, a play based on the beloved Neutral Milk Hotel classic In the Aeroplane Over the Sea. It's almost exactly how one might picture what a Neutral Milk Hotel inspired play would look and sound like, and pretty much better than anything I've ever been forced to see because of shameful dalliances with cute theater girls.


Fly the freshest skies


Somewhere on that plane, the words "Damn it" and "Obama's fault" are being muttered violently in someone's internal monologue.


Hold me closer Paul Rudd dancer

And that is a line we've double dutched over many a time.


Mos Def takes a break between takes to drop "Casa Bey"

As an undying devotee of the wonderous perfection of Black on Both Sides and Black Star, it's hard to get one's hopes up over the forthcoming The Ecstatic.

It's now been ten years since the release of Black on Both Sides, burgeoning mixed bag of an acting career, lackluster releases and the occasional guest verse, it appears the Black Dante's opening salvo on Both Sides wasn't a harbinger of hope for the heart of hip hop at the millennium, but a slight pit stop on its descent into creative cultural irrelevance.

Hip hop isn't dead; Kanye and mainstream music consumers can attest to that. But its cultural relevance as a art form that could both entertain, educate and elevate has become so diluted it's hard to not blame younger generations for not being able to differentiate between hip hop the culture and hip hop the art. The culture has become a brand name, an overly simplistic, yet easily defineable mixture of slang and style that's become appropriate for mass consumption and that's fine: part of making it in the mainstream is becoming one with the masses.

And while easily disposable hip pop will always be part and parcel of the business, it's become increasingly difficult to find message within the gloss that isn't trite, contrived, or convoluted. The often disparaged moniker of the "socially conscious backpacking hip hop head" (i.e. Tribe, Common, Mos, the Roots) has led to an uneasy balance, and the reality that just like the optimistic young activist who cowtows to the responsibilities and comforts of age and convenience, so too have our generation's supposed speakers of truth lost the edge, the fight and settled down for the comforts of commercialized action/pothead films, and late night gigs with job security.

For kids just discovering the fire and energy of artists that inspire and invigorate, take time to cherish and hold onto that feeling. It never, ever lasts.


Sunday, May 10, 2009

Aziz Ansari keeps bringing it

Aziz Ansari's complete and total domination of all things awesome and awesome-like continues with his recent appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Totally worth it just for the Raaaaaaaandy Funny People preview.


Saturday, May 9, 2009

Whatever Works doesn't always

I love, love, love, love, LOVE Larry David. Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, the legendary "nah, I don't feel like it" approach of some of his stand up gigs, (Christ I even watched Sour Grapes)... I love it all.

And Woody is Woody. Any true blue, born and raised New Yorker with even a smidgen of a semblance of an aspiration for comedy writing has to do their due diligence on Allen's work, and for better or for worse I've always been one of his biggest proponents (how on earth a person could end a relationship with a woman because of a fight about the inability to look at the work separate from the artist's 'personal proclivities' seemed implausible, until, well, I did) in good times (Manhattan!) and bad (I refuse to acknowledge the existence of parts of the 80s, 90s, and 00s).

So hearing the idea of Woody possibly getting back into the swing of things (or at least as good as the recent swing has been for him) by reuniting with David as the lead sent my envy for Jewish comedic gold into a tizzy (sort of like Mel Gibson, except the complete opposite). Then it opened the Tribeca Film Festival, and uh...:

That Evan Rachel Wood does do a mean Holly Hunter. Or Anna Paquin. I'm not sure. So there's something (protectively eyes copy of Bananas in denial).


TipToes: a tour de force of tour de forceness

Seriously watch it. Just watch it. You know you want to watch it. Holy shit, just watch it:


I've never been so ashamed at missing the first boat on something as I am with Tiptoes. Kate Beckinsale. Patricia Arquette. Peter Dinklage. Gary Oldman. Matthew McConaughey.

And wow. Also, amazing. AMAZING.


Friday, May 8, 2009

Gawker loves us to love them

Okay, you run this shit, we get it. Now jump.


Thursday, May 7, 2009

Larry King saves us from J-School

You, all right?! I learned it by watching you.


Blame it on the Wainy Days

Our beloved David Wain's Wainy Days returns for a fourth season of more relationshit addled absurdity with the underutilized and always game Amanda Peet.

For people willing to tough it out for the hope of rush tickets, the 92Y Tribeca's Comedy Below Canal is hosting Wainy Days Live tonight at 9pm with Wain, his Stella compatriots Michael Showalter and Michael Ian Black, Rescue Me's crazy good at playing crazy Callie Thorne, the never not awesome Joe Lo Truglio and the apple of SMFIH's eye (and naughty places) Paul Rudd.

So those of you who were smart enough to not get sold out and actually had the foresight to get tickets immediately in advance...fuck you. Oh, and please somehow record it and upload it for our viewing pleasure, please? Thank you.


Blackmail for breakfast

One of Hitchcock's earliest films that was shot as both a silent film as well as the first British talkie, Blackmail is good, dark fun and an early example of what would lay the groundwork for some of his trademark thematic elements.

For fellow film geeks pining for the excitement of your first film class, the adorable (albeit heavily Czech accented) Anny Ondra and Hitch messing with one of his earliest 'icy blondes':


Monday, May 4, 2009

Sean and Jilly Move In

Something to get through the evil Monday: Sean and Jilly Move In, a faux documentary web series about a couple who decide to move in with each other to save their relationship. It's too precious and Office-y in some moments, but it's cute and sweet and reminds me how great being single again really is.

Ahhhh...the joys of being free (as I look at my day planner that has Healthy Choice ice cream coupons crudely attached to "After Work Plans").


Joe Wong takes a nation of billions to make us laugh

I rarely ever deviate from my self-hating Asian stance, but after catching wind of comedian Joe Wong's Letterman set from Louis C.K.'s blog, it's nice to see one of my people taking the stereotypically un-stereotypical path towards comedy without lowering himself to hack/ethnic idiotic simplicity.

It's an uneven set at best, but it is always great to see the genuine look of nervousness and excitement in a performer getting the biggest break of his career thus far.

For a thoughtful and nostalgic take on Wong's set from arguably the best comedian in the game today, read here. Rumble Joe Wong, rumble.


Jon Hamm makes everything all better

I've never been the biggest Kevin Pollak fan, but his new web series Kevin Pollak's Chat Show is a surprisingly good Charlie Rose-like show featuring Pollak talking shop with actors, comedians, musicians and Internet personalities with a serious and thoughtful approach to how people came to be as well as the future of entertainment media. And the obligatory Walken impersonation.

Above is Pollak kicking it with our beloved Jon Hamm, talking about his early "Show Killer" status (going through 12 failed pilots), his fun "Larry King game" take (right at the end) as well as gives insight behind his awesome James Mason impersonation:



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